Life can be incredibly challenging for both parents and children impacted by Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD). Many children with ADHD are unfairly labeled as “bad” kids, leaving parents and caregivers feeling frustrated, judged, and often defeated. As an adult with ADHD and a mother of children who also have ADHD, I’ve experienced my fair share of “mom guilt.”
The Struggles and Triumphs of ADHD in Our Family
Sitting quietly and waiting patiently was a constant battle for one of my sons throughout his early childhood and elementary years. Impulsivity made everyday situations difficult, and he often found himself struggling to conform to traditional classroom expectations. By middle school, he had learned to manage most of his impulsive behaviors—though he still blurts out random sounds when he’s been sitting for too long. He was on medication for a year, which gave him the space to practice behavior modifications and self-regulation skills.
Our youngest son, on the other hand, is the walking definition of a Sour Patch Kid! He’s sweet, loving, and incredibly empathetic—but also into everything. One unforgettable moment was when we were touring a daycare center. My then-15-month-old nearly drank a Wallflower air freshener right in front of the Director and me while we discussed his upcoming enrollment. That definitely didn’t leave the best first impression! Thankfully, she later became a good friend of ours, and we still laugh about that day—and the many other days he kept his teachers on their toes.
Academically, he struggled with reading in first grade. We decided to start him on medication in September, and by Spring Break, he was one of the top readers in his class! He thrives with routine and structure, but his intense emotions sometimes lead others to see him as a “bad” kid, while my husband and I are unfairly judged as “bad” parents.
ADHD in Girls: A Different Presentation
ADHD often presents differently in girls than in boys. Instead of the outward hyperactivity commonly seen in boys, ADHD in girls is frequently linked with symptoms of anxiety.
Our daughter struggles to separate the sensations of anxiety from ADHD because the symptoms overlap so much. While my older son releases excess energy through random noises, my daughter experiences intense muscle tension that makes her feel heavy and overwhelmed. She doesn’t always know how to release it, which can lead to frustration and exhaustion. I completely relate—when I feel overwhelmed, it’s usually because I have built-up energy that needs an outlet. (This is also when I’m at my most productive when it comes to cleaning!)
Finding Support and Resources for ADHD
I could share countless stories about our family’s ADHD journey, but if you’re reading this, chances are you have similar experiences of your own. The good news? You’re not alone, and there are many resources available to help navigate the challenges of ADHD.
From educational tools to parenting strategies, finding the right support can make all the difference. Below are some valuable websites and resources to explore, whether you’re looking for guidance on managing symptoms, behavioral support, or simply reassurance that you’re doing your best as a parent.
Recommended ADHD Resources
Websites
- Child Neurology Foundation: Behavior Management
- Children and Adults with Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (CHADD): Parenting a Child with ADHD
- American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry: ADHD Resource Center
- Child Mind Institute: Complete Guide to ADHD
- ADDitude Magazine
- More to ADHD: For Adults and Children
Books
Parenting a child with ADHD—or living with it yourself—comes with unique challenges, but it also brings incredible strengths. Embracing those strengths while finding effective strategies can make a world of difference for both you and your child. Keep learning, keep advocating, and most importantly, give yourself grace. You’re doing better than you think.