First, please know that you are not alone in this very difficult journey. Losing a child is a traumatic situation that no one is prepared for. As a grief therapist, the best advice I can give you at this moment is to allow yourself to feel every emotion that comes throughout this journey.
You do not have to walk on eggshells around others in fear of causing them distress. Do not feel obligated to explain the situation to every person who asks. You should process this difficult situation and walk this journey as you feel is acceptable. There is no timeframe for healing. Everyone copes differently. Again, the most important is to allow yourself to feel the different emotions that come–anger, sadness, frustration, and hurt. Cry when you need to cry. Scream into your pillow when you need to scream. Take some time to be alone when you need to be alone. Ask for support when you need support, whether that be someone sitting next to you saying nothing, or someone taking your mind off the situation.
Also, know that your partner may experience grief differently than you. One partner may appear to be “less bothered” than the other but that does not mean they are not grieving. We all grieve and process things differently. Communication is key. Ask your partner how they are feeling. Ask your partner if they need anything. Ask your partner to meet a need you have.
Below are resources related to stillborn and infancy loss. If you need other resources not listed, or have questions, please contact me! I will gladly help in any way that I can.
Many blessings,
Ashley
Therapy
Grief therapy is very helpful for this situation. Processing emotions with a non-judgmental, non-biased professional can be freeing. Contact a local therapist who specializes in grief therapy and/or infant loss. You can find someone local by searching for a “grief therapist” in your area or visiting PsychologyToday.com.
National Maternal Mental Health Hotline
Call or text, 1-833-TLC-MAMA (1-833-852-6262) to connect with counselors at the National Maternal Mental Health Hotline 24/7! They offer free, confidential support, resources, and referrals to any pregnant and postpartum mother facing mental health challenges and their loved ones. The services are available in English and Spanish.
Supportive Websites
The Compassionate Friends
https://www.compassionatefriends.org/
The Compassionate Friends provides highly personal comfort, hope, and support to every family experiencing the death of a loved one, and helps others better assist the grieving family.
Postpartum Support International
https://www.postpartum.net/get-help/loss-grief-in-pregnancy-postpartum
Support and resources to individuals and families through perinatal loss and bereavement coordinators. Offers an online support group to connect grieving mothers.
Pregnancy After Loss Support
https://pregnancyafterlosssupport.org
Online support group and resources.
Share Pregnancy & Infant Loss Support
https://nationalshare.org
Services include phone counseling, support groups, online communities, community events and online education.
March of Dimes
https://www.marchofdimes.org/complications/dealing-with-grief-after-the-death-of-your-baby.aspx
An educational site that explains what grief is, what it can look like among men, women and children and offers coping advice.
Ending a Wanted Pregnancy
https://endingawantedpregnancy.com
Support group for families ending pregnancy for medical reasons.
Bereaved Parents of the USA
https://www.bereavedparentsusa.org/chapters/find-a-chapter
Support and resources to fellow bereaved parents, siblings, and grandparents after the death of their loved one.
Walk with Me
https://www.walkwithme-nonprofit.org
Practical, financial, and emotional support to families who are learning to live in the wake of their child’s death prior to or shortly after birth.
Exhale
https://exhaleprovoice.org
Support and resources via text or phone line for individuals who had an abortion.
Miscarriage Matters
https://www.mymiscarriagematters.org
Online support to those who have experienced pregnancy or early infant loss.
The Tears Foundation
https://thetearsfoundation.org/supportgroups
Support groups and trained “Peer Companions” for bereaved families who have experienced the death of their baby.
Birth Injury Center
https://birthinjurycenter.org/types-of-birth-injuries/intrauterine-fetal-demise/
Support & Guidance For Families Who Have Fallen Victim to Medical Negligence
Support for Women of Color
Return to Zero (RTZ) Hope
https://rtzhope.org/bipoc
Pregnancy and infant loss webinars and support groups specifically for women of color.
Sisters in Loss
https://sistersinloss.com
Support, resources and community for Black women who experienced pregnancy and infant loss.
Support for LGBTQ+ People
Return to Zero (RTZ) Hope
https://rtzhope.org/lgbtq
Virtual support groups and resources for LGBTQ+ families.
Pregnancy After Loss Support
https://pregnancyafterlosssupport.org/resources-for-lgbtq-families-experiencing-loss-and-pregnancy-after-loss
Pregnancy loss resources for LGBTQ+ families.
Support for Spanish Speaking People
Share Español: Esperanza
https://nationalshare.org/share-espanolesperanza
Grupo de apoyo ha sido creado para servir a familias de habla Hispana a afrontar el duro proceso de duelo debido a la trágica pérdida del bebé durante el embarazo, antes del nacimiento o durante los primeros meses de vida.
Miscarriage Matters Español
https://www.mymiscarriagematters.org/miscarriage-matters-en-espanol
Proporciona apoyo en línea a aquellos que han experimentado el embarazo o la pérdida temprana del bebé
