Childbirth is a deeply personal experience—but for survivors of sexual trauma, it can also bring unexpected triggers, fear, or vulnerability. If you’ve experienced sexual trauma, know this: you are not alone, and your voice, body, and choices matter—especially during labor and birth.
This post is here to remind you that you have the right to feel safe, respected, and in control during your birth experience. Let’s talk about common challenges like vaginal checks and labor induction, and how you can prepare, advocate, and care for yourself along the way.
You Have the Right to Say “No” or “Not Yet”
Medical procedures like cervical (vaginal) checks or labor induction methods can be necessary at times—but they are never mandatory without your consent. You can always say:
- “I’m not comfortable with a vaginal exam right now.”
- “Can we discuss the risks and benefits first?”
- “I’d like a few minutes alone to decide.”
- “I want to try other methods before moving to induction.”
Informed consent is your right. You can ask for alternatives, delay a procedure, or refuse it altogether. You are allowed to be fully involved in every decision about your care.
Talking With Your Provider in Advance
If possible, have a trauma-informed conversation with your OB, midwife, or birth team before labor begins. You might say:
- “I’m a survivor of sexual trauma, and some parts of birth may be triggering for me.”
- “I want to talk through options to minimize internal exams or unnecessary interventions.”
- “Please talk to me before touching me or starting any procedure.”
A supportive provider will listen with compassion and work with you to create a birth plan that respects your boundaries and emotional safety.
Coping Tools for Triggers During Birth
Even with preparation, certain moments might still feel overwhelming. Here are some grounding techniques and comfort strategies you can use:
1. Establish Safe Words or Cues
Decide in advance what word or signal you’ll use if you need a pause, space, or support during labor. This can be helpful if you feel overwhelmed and need to re-center.
2. Grounding With the 5-4-3-2-1 Technique
Name 5 things you can see, 4 things you can touch, 3 you can hear, 2 you can smell, 1 you can taste. This can help pull your mind out of a panic spiral and back into the present.
3. Bring a Comfort Object or Anchor
A soft item, photo, or piece of jewelry that feels safe and meaningful can help ground you. Use it as a visual or tactile reminder that you are in control and supported.
4. Soothing Words or Affirmations
Repeat affirmations to yourself or have your partner/doula speak them to you:
- “This is my body, and I am in charge.”
- “I can speak up. I can be heard.”
- “I am safe. I am not alone.”
5. Partner or Doula Advocacy
Train your birth partner or doula to be your voice if you’re unable to speak in the moment. They can remind staff of your boundaries and advocate on your behalf if you’re in distress.
Special Considerations: Vaginal Checks & Induction
Vaginal Checks
You can request:
- Fewer checks overall
- That checks be done only when medically necessary
- That they be done by a provider of your preferred gender
- A verbal countdown and clear explanation before and during the exam
Induction
You can ask:
- What is the medical reason for induction?
- Are there alternatives or a way to delay?
- Can I use natural induction methods first?
- What are the emotional/mental effects of each method (e.g., Foley bulb, Pitocin, etc.)?
Induction can sometimes feel fast-paced or out of your control. Asking for time to process and clear explanations can help you stay grounded.
You Deserve a Safe, Respectful Birth
Your past does not define your strength—but it does deserve to be honored in the way you’re cared for. Being a survivor doesn’t make you less capable of birth—it makes you deeply wise about the importance of boundaries, safety, and self-trust.
You are not “difficult” for setting boundaries. You are not “overreacting” for needing gentleness. You are not alone in this.
Resources for Support
- Trauma-Informed Birth Plan Templates – Search for downloadable worksheets to guide your conversation with providers.
- Local Doulas with Trauma-Informed Training – Ask for referrals through local birth centers or mental health clinics.
- Books & Podcasts:
- When Survivors Give Birth by Penny Simkin
- Birth Trauma Mama podcast
- Perinatal Therapists – Find one via Postpartum Support International or your local therapist directory.
Final Note
You are worthy of care that honors your story and supports your healing. Every choice you make in birth can be a reclaiming—a reminder that your body is yours, and you get to decide what happens to it. Let your voice be loud. Let your support team be strong. And let your birth be a space of power, not fear.
You’ve survived so much. You’re not just giving birth to a baby—you’re stepping into a deeper version of yourself. And that is powerful.
